Oxymoron
by Soami
Summary: “James Potter going out with Lily Evans, no, no, no, no! It is an oxymoron, I tell you!” One evening in the common room, Sirius, Remus, and Peter ponder on James' relationship with Lily Evans. VERY random oneshot!


**Half an hour ago I decided I wanted to put another fic up, so here it is! This _'story'_ is completely random and has _no_ point, but I've just had two weeks of exams and two months of revising, so my mind is basically a pile of mush inside my head – pointless. A bit like this fic! Read and enjoy if you feel like being silly :)**

_Disclaimer – I don't own anything that JK Rowling does, unfortunately. Including the mansion._

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**Oxymoron**

'_**ox-y-mo-ron** (ok-si-mahr-on) **n.**_

_a figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect, as in "cruel kindness" or "to make haste slowly".'_

It was official; James Potter was in love. With a _girl!_ A _redheaded _girl, who actually liked reading, thought _Witch Weekly _was stupid and thought a good way to let off some steam was to get a broom and a Beater's bat and whack Bludgers from one side of the Hogwarts grounds to the other. She took Divination because she found it 'interesting' and liked to go clothes-shopping with her friends during Hogsmeade weekends, but she was also the only Beater in the history of Hogwarts to score with a Quaffle during a Quidditch match (using a Bludger and a bat, of course), and she never, ever wore pink.

And _James_ _loved _her!

"Do you think she's the devil?" Sirius Black asked in hushed tones, sitting in the common room with Remus and Peter, supposedly playing a game of chess, but neither Sirius nor Peter was concentrating. They were too busy staring at James and _that girl _making gooey-eyes at each other.

"Why?" Remus asked, his mouth hanging open.

"It would have had to leave hell before it froze over," Sirius replied absent-mindedly. The other two boys made agreeing noises, nodding slowly.

"It's like he's been possessed by Goo McNooey," Remus moaned, sounding close to tears.

"Like he's been put under the Imperius Curse," Sirius nodded. Peter looked at his two friends.

"It's like an _oxymoron_."

Finally, Sirius and Remus snapped out of their trances and stared at Peter, mouths still open.

"An _oxymoron_?" Remus repeated, amused. Peter nodded.

"Yes, yes, yes!" he cried, standing up. "An _oxymoron! _The phrase contradicts itself!"

"What phrase, Wormy?" Sirius asked his friend, also standing. Remus followed suit.

"'James Potter is going out with _Lily Evans_'" Peter stated. "Or 'James Potter is in love.' Those phrases contradict each other; think about it! James Potter, _going out_. No, no, no. James Potter plus _going out _don't go. Neither does 'James Potter' and 'in love' because it just _doesn't make sense!_"

By now, the entire common room was silent, staring at Peter, who didn't seem to notice. Sirius and Remus listened intently.

"'James Potter is in a broom cupboard with Melissa Jonson', yes, yes, yes," Peter continued, staring straight ahead, completely in his own world. "James Potter going out with Lily Evans, no, no, no, _no! _It is an _oxymoron_, I tell you! _Oxymoron!_"

There were a few moments of silence as everyone processed what Peter had just said. Peter looked around at everyone, his hopeful expression slowly fading.

And then, Sirius started clapping. His claps were loud, and echoed in the common room, but it didn't matter because suddenly, the whole Gryffindor House was clapping, and Peter was smiling broadly, proud of his little speech and the way it had been taken by everyone.

"Bravo, Peter!" Sirius cried, slapping his friend on the back. "That was the most philosophical thing you've ever said!"

Eventually, the laughter and claps died down, and everyone went back to what they were doing before.

"What does 'philosophical' mean?" Peter whispered to Sirius. Sirius looked at him.

"_I don't know_," he whispered back. They both grinned.

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**I don't like the ending but I'm too tired to change it :)**

**Reviews? Please? It would make my month even if you just say 'I like!' because I live on reviews! They are my fuel! So, please:)**


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